#keith kogane is lactose intolerant

[cryptidseeker]

keith, on the phone, sitting on the toilet and panting: and i thought i was dying, it was tERRIBLE and ugh, im never eating ice cream again. The most explosive shit in my life, seriously, if i ever buy anything dairy again just punch me in the gut, it will be less painful than what's happening right now— [goes on with graphic descriptions of his lactose intolerance and bad consequences]

shiro, on his date with adam, with candles and rose petals, and a ring in his pocket, picked up the call because Keith almost never calls, so he panicked bc thought it was something urgent:

[fandomination666-blog]

Okay so if Keith is lactose intolerant and grew up in texas, specifically west Texas, he can't eat at half the restaurants without getting sick. Mexican food. So much cheese. So when Lance invites him to have dinner with the family in cuba (either as friends or lovers, don't matter) he's worried he's gonna end up throwing up. Imagine his relief to discover that traditional cuban food has WAY less cheese, cause its a tropical island that doesn't bode well for cows (Castro tried lol)

Oh and Lance finds it hilarious when Keith mentions this to him

[starshineswirl]

“Keith! Dinner!” Adam calls, setting the last of the table as Takashi sets down a huge pan of chicken fajitas. It’s more than he would usually cook, but ever since Keith turned 17, he’d hit a massive growth spurt that was apparently accompanied by the ability to eat everything and anything.

But as Keith finally waddles into the kitchen, Adam still can’t help smirking; despite the “massive growth spurt,” his kid is still a good head shorter then him, and the comparison is even more stark when he stands next to Takashi.

“You ready for dinner?” Takashi asks as he hands him a plate.

Keith only stares. “I can’t eat this.”

“…why not?” Adam raises an eyebrow at him, only mildly threatening as he remembers how long it took him to cook it.

“There’s no dairy.”

Takashi and Adam just stare. Keith rolls his eyes, apparently assuming that they were up-to-date with his dietary needs.

“I need to eat a lot of dairy.”

“Do I want to know why?” Takashi sighs.

Keith smirks and scratches at the bare stubble growing alongside his chin. “All the guys on my flight team are growing beards for finals.”

“And what are you doing?” Adam shoots back without thought. He has to bite his lip at the pout that immediately forms on Keith’s face.

“Very funny. I’ll have you know that I��m only three days in — I’m showing above average hair growth for someone my age.” Keith says proudly. 

Takashi turns and gives Adam an exasperated look, somewhere between, “What’s wrong with him?” And “This wasn’t in the parenting books.” Adam only sighs.

“Fine. So you’re growing a beard. And this relates to your refusal to eat chicken because…?”

“I’m on a strict all-diary diet to improve hair growth. Duh.”

“Are you aware…” Takashi starts, pinching the bridge of his nose. Adam swears he sees another gray hair form on his fíance’s head. “That you are lactose intolerant?”

Keith only rolls his eyes. “Relax, I got it covered.”

“How?”

“I take my lactose pills around the clock now.”

“That’s not…"

“Will you relax? I got it covered. I take one before every meal now. Like today, I had yogurt and milk for breakfast and McClain snuck a huge block of cheese in for lunch — I think he got it from Garrett in the cafeteria — and for dinner I was going to have ice cream.”

Adam puts his face in his hands. He remembers being stupid at 17, but not this stupid. 

“Keith, this make work now, but if you keep it up your body will eventually reject all the diary you try to give it.” Takashi groans. “And you can’t eat like that! Just have some chicken.”

“Anything non-dairy can hinder my hair growth!” Keith says hotly. “Look, I have the second fastest growth on the team and I intend to keep it that way. You guys eat, I’ll make something else. If I want to keep growing in my hair at this trajectory I have to keep myself on a strict all-diary diet!”

With that, he gets up from the dinning table and stomps off to the kitchen. Takashi sighs as he heard the huge tub of ice cream get taken out of the freezer.

“When should we put a stop to this?” He mutters to Adam.

Adam only took a bite nonchalantly. “When he pukes his guts out in three days.”

Takashi hesitated, but then he heard the blender go off as Keith mixed the ice cream with milk.

“Sounds good.” 

[keithkog]

If I’m quiet enough I could hear myself screaming internally because I just digested a lot of milk..

And I’m at least a little lactose intolerant..

Do I just love torturing myself? Is that it??

-Keith

[lzzily]

Betraying my guitarist roots by choosing Lactose intolerant Keith

[anonymouszephyrus]

Voltron Characters Headcanons, go!

FINALLY! I HAVE.. too many..

Let's start with the original Red & Blue duo:

KEITH (Aka. He isn't emo, just unique)

- Demisexual Homoromantic (Yes.) - He/Him Pronouns - Full Name Headcanon: Keith's full name is “Keith Akira Kogane” and other languages. However, I like to think that Keith's father (whom I've named: Hyeong-Min, Hyeon by itself means “Virtuous or Worthy” and Min means “Sharp-minded” which I think fits someone who is Keith's dad.) His surname in Japan is Kogane, yes. But in Korea, it would be Kim. As both Kim and Kogane mean “Gold” in Korean and Japanese. This does mean that Keith has a Korean name along with his usual one. I'm choosing to go along with the idea that when Hyeong-min's parents left Korea and moved to Texas, they gave him a Korean name but when Hyeong-min and Krolia had Keith, they chose to gave him multiple names depending where he was. TLDR; (Japanese - Akira Kogane; Korean - Ki-Joo or Ki-Joon Kim/Kogane; Common - Keith Akira Kogane.) - Absolute Literature nerd (He spent a shit long time in that cabin. There's no way Adam or Shiro hadn't found him before and given him books or something to occupy himself.) - I love having him as Japanese-Korean + Half-Galra but he was raised in Texas so he's forgotten a lot of his Korean since no one was there to continuously talk to him in the language like his dad did. Shiro talks Japanese with him so that one is still fine. Keith's been trying to relearn Korean but it's hard since he gets sad (and mad) when thinking about his dad. - He wears eyeliner. Shiro taught him to. - He wears too many rings. And whenever he has to wash his hands, he takes them off, and Lance practically faints every time Keith flexes his hands to ensure his rings are in place. - Despite being touch-repulsed, Keith is so fucking touch-starved it's unreal. - Keith only calls Shiro “Takashi” when he's mad or sad. No in-between. One time he did it was when he was younger, Shiro beat him in Mario Kart and he got so mad, he screamed: "I'm disowning myself from you, Takashi!" and Shiro almost cried. - Keith's Galra side only comes out when he's focused, mad, or extremely flustered about something. Lance teased him to no end one time and his skin started turning purple. - After Allura and Keith had their talk, Allura's been trying to make his little Galra situation better. If she sees him slowly turning purple and becoming anxious about it, she'll turn purple too for the remainder of his ordeal. (And then it becomes a “who wears purple the best”) - Keith loves music, he likes to play the keyboard or piano at times, only problem is that he's a bit tone-deaf (which is surprising considering he actually is pretty good at playing those instruments.) - He is lactose-intolerant, only that he doesn't give a shit and does continuously eat or drink dairy products, it doesn't make him sick though because of his Galra genes... but he does, quite literally, destroy the bathroom.

LANCE (Aka. Too many sad shit)

- Bisexual Disaster (with a hint of internalized homophobia) - He/Him Pronouns - Full Name Headcanon: His real name is Leandro Agustín Nuñez Carmen Esposita-McClain, shortened to Lance McClain. Just like @autisticlancemcclain's headcanon, I love it a lot. (Sorry for the ping, if it did) - All his siblings have acronym names along with their mother. Mervin, headcanon McClain papa's name, is the only one without one. - Lance has central heterochromia, meaning the inner ring of his eyes are brown whilst the rest is blue. Kinda like this:

(This is a picture I got off Google, please don't sue me. And yes, I know it's more orange than brown but I couldn't find a good enough reference to show you all, basically it's just like that except the middle is much darker) - He's constantly terrified he'll forget things from Earth. Like his sense of time, the way colors are, the way the light moves, the moon changing every night, everything. Not just because of you know, Voltron and stuff, but because he has memory issues too. - He accidentally forgot the name of his niece and nephew one time and panicked afterward as he scrambled to think of what they were. Now, he has little notes in his pocket that holds all his family members' names. - Lance is a prodigy at playing music, specifically guitars but he doesn't think he's good after the last time he played in a competition, he got absolutely destroyed and insulted by one of the other sour competitors that he never tried to play a guitar again because everytime he tries to, that memory keeps coming back and it's one of the many reasons he has such low self-esteem. - He thought he was sick the first time he had a crush on a guy from the first week of being in the Garrison (it was Keith) and rang up his mother only to be politely told that he wasn't sick. - Lance often tries to write little poems for Keith because he knows how much he likes literature only to throw it allow or out the airlock when he thinks it isn't good enough. It leads to the first poem Keith received from him being the most romantic and elegantly made poem he's ever read... (and he only got it because Lance forgot where he left it when he was planning on throwing it away again) - Despite being a flirt, Lance cannot handle being flirted with. Keith is surprisingly smooth with his comebacks (it's only when he doesn't try). - Keith sometimes accidentally (or purposefully, depending on the situation) initiates physical affection and it flusters Lance to no end. - He prefers wearing gold because Keith told him one time that it suited him. Aka: Keith's opinion of anything Lance wears is what he sticks to as a fashion choice.

I've got more for the other characters! Stay tune for those. Next up: Pidge & Hunk, the lil' nerd duo!

PART: 2 & 3

[bamboozledcorvid]

My Keith Kogane headcanons cause I have a problem;

• Autistic

- diagnosed at like 6 and never told anyone.

- non verbal / semi verbal a lot when he was younger.

- special interests are space, hippos, knives, aliens and conspiracies.

- bad with names/faces.

• nail bitter.

• firn believer in ghost and tries to summon them.

• LOVES HIPPOS!

• eats gross foods with a straight face to confuse people.

• has the worse handwriting imaginable.

• lactose intolerant but loves strawberry milk and ice cream.

• he’s the sorta guy to nod along and agree even when he doesn’t understand.

• wears a lot of eyeliner.

• he doesn’t like bugs but will pretend to so people don’t think he’s weak.

• cried when Mufasa died in the lion king.

• doesn’t know what TikTok is.

• grew up around country music.

• he’s smelly.

• listens to stereotypical 2000’s emo music;

-MCR

-FOB

-EVANESCENCE

-GREEN DAY

[autisticlancemcclain]

“You’re a dumbass.”

Keith takes a moment to stick his tongue out at him. “Am not.”

“Are too,” Lance says, shaking his head fondly. “You do not think before you do things. I love you, babe, but you have zero risk assessment abilities.”

“I do so have risk assessment abilities! Right now I am assessing the risk, and I used my abilities to asses that it is so, totally worth it!”

“It’s worth it for you now, you goober. But in a few hours you’ll be singing a different tune.”

Keith shrugs, shoving another spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. “That sounds like a future Keith problem.”

Lance rolls his eyes. “Seriously. You’re such a dumbass. Hunk makes you various other treats that no one is allowed to touch specifically because you can’t eat ice cream without Suffering the Consequences. And yet.”

“And yet,” Keith agrees, like the dumbass he is.

God, Lance loves his dorky boyfriend so much. He is going to have so much fun being smug when Keith is suffering later. This dating shit is great.

———

Lance is a light sleeper. Always has been. And when he was sleeping on his own, he dealt with it pretty easily with an eye mask and headphones and other such things. But sharing a bed every night means that it’s kind of difficult to wear a bunch of sleep gear without disrupting Keith, and besides, as much as being a light sleeper is kind of annoying, it does mean he’s up easier for any kind of light night…activities. So it kind of cancels out.

But right now, Lance is very happy about being a light sleeper, because he’s up the very second he hears his boyfriend mutter a low “oh, fuck” and try to extract himself from Lance’s arms and to the washroom without waking Lance up.

Lance smirks to himself. Ha. As if Keith is going to escape his mocking. Lance warned the fucker. It is high time that he rubs it in and says ‘I told you so’ as many times as he possibly can.

“Where’re y’going?” Lance mumbles, pretending to be more asleep than he is and tightening his arms around Keith’s waist.

Keith sees right through him easily. “You know exactly where I’m going, you dick. Let me go.”

“No idea what you’re talking about,” Lance says, smirking. “You’ll have to enlighten me.”

Keith sighs. He knows damn well that he is at the disadvantage here, and like hell is he going to out-stubborn Lance when he’s the one on the time limit.

Ha. Sucker.

God, Lance loves being in love. This shit is the best.

“If I admit that you were right, will you let me and my poor stomach go suffer in peace?”

“Mm. You have the call yourself the king of all dumbasses first and admit that I am correct all of the time.”

“You’re correct some of the time.”

“I can hear your stomach trying to kill itself, babe. Don’t think you’re in the position to be negotiating.”

Look. If Keith was really desperate, Lance wouldn’t be stopping him. He’s not cruel. Plus, as much as Lance is no slacker, Keith will always be able to kick his ass at hand to hand, so if he really needed to flee that quickly, he could.

But if there’s one thing Keith is, it’s a total sucker for Lance and all of Lance’s bullshit. And Lance loves taking advantage of that, because he’s a known butthead.

“I am the king of all dumbasses and you are always right,” Keith deadpans. “Now let me go, asshole.”

Lance does, smirking as Keith scrambles to their ensuite and re-burying himself in the blankets. Keith’ll be a while.

Lance is half asleep by the time Keith finally crawls back into bed. “If you listen to me more often bad things wouldn’t keep happening to you,” he mumbles as they get comfortable again.

“You are so mean to me,” Keith grouches back. But he presses a kiss to Lance’s cheek anyway.

Ha. Sucker. He’s so lucky he has Lance.

[mimi-croissant]

Keith likes oatmeal cookie creamer, done and done, it’s dairy free and delicious SO YA

[incorrectvld-quotes]

Keith: I'm going to be a milk carton for halloween

Lance: That's not scary

Keith: I'm lactose intolerant

Lance: Oh my god-

Keith: I'M TERRIFIED BUT I'M DOING IT ANYWAY

[cryptidseeker]

keith kogane's nightmare #52367847: discovering that the reason all these treats on this planet are so mild and not overwhelmingly sweet is because they use alien lactose as a regular sugar/sweetener instead of alien sucrose.

AFTER trying each and every of them.

[sphinxx09]

Lance: Can you like,,, die from lactose intolerant???

Keith:

Keith:

Lance: because I'd drink milk everyday dude

[meikoin-blog]

Keith: *Drinking multiple glasses of milk*

Lance:

Lance: Ke iTH WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!

Keith: Take a fucking sip babe.

[starryeyed-char]

if we don't get Lance trying to give Keith a milkshake in season 5 only for Keith to just stare at him like "Lance I'm lactose intolerant" and then Lance is bummed because his milkshake didn't bring Keith to the yard then what, pray tell, is the fucking point

[shootingfromafar]

Keith: Hey Hunk

Hunk: Keith!! Glad to see that you've finally come to GET. SOME. FOOD.

Keith: *a tad uncomfortable* yeah... Hey, does that have milk in it?

Hunk: Yup! A real, authentic milkshake! Courtesy of Pidge's cow, want some?

Keith: Yes. *downs in one swallow*

*moment of silence*

Hunk: Keith... why did you ask if that had milk in it?

Keith: I'm lactose intolerant.

Hunk: *distressed noises*

[the-vampire-artist]

Day 7: Allergic reaction (Lance)

@vldwhumpmas2017

Lance knew something felt wrong the second Keith took a bit of the cookie. They were all at Hunk’s place, and when he asked everyone to try the cookies, Keith’s face went from happy to pale, as if he’d seen a ghost, the second he swallowed one of Hunk’s famous cookies.

“Uh, Hunk? What’s in these cookies?” Hunk looked at him in an odd way.

“Lance, you’ve made these with me before; Flour, sugar, eggs, milk, chocolate-“ Hunk continued, but Lance didn’t hear him, because he was more focused on the spaced out Look Keith had on his face. He gripped his stomach and he was breathing heavily. Lance felt a little flushed himself, but he’d had Hunk’s cookies before; there shouldn’t be anything as bad as what Keith must’ve been going through.

“- and I added some peanut butter chocolate chips to change things up a bit.” Welp, so much for it not affecting Lance. But all Lance was going to wind up having was a headache at worst and a small rash on his arm or something. Keith, however looked like he was going to get sick.

“Crap... Come on, Keith. Bathroom. Now.” Lance said urgently, helping a trembling Keith to the bathroom. Keith sat in front of the toilet and threw up into the bowl. He got everything out before sitting back against Lance and whimpering.

“Feeling better?” He asked. Keith shook his head and Lance sighed. He should’ve known this would happen.

“Okay, time to get up. We’re going home.” Lance said, but Keith didn’t move. Lance helped him up and wrapped Keith’s arm onto his shoulder and supported him on the way out. But as they were getting closer to the door, Keith felt his lungs closing up and he collapsed.

“KEITH!” Lance shouted, catching his boyfriend before he hit the floor. Keith was breathing heavily, and his eyes were rolled into his head. Lance couldn’t figure out why this was happening - Keith was Lactose intolerant, and Lance knew Keith would get sick whenever he ate something with lactose in it, but he’d never passed out before - until he put two and two together.

Keith had a tree nut allergy.

Chocolate came from cocoa beans.

Cocoa beans are tree nuts...

There were chocolate chips in the cookies.

“Shit...” Lance whispered. He dug around in his pocket to try and find his EpiPen that he kept on him in case either of them had a severe allergic reaction. He grabbed it and sighed.

“This is gonna hurts for a sec, babe.” He muttered as he stuck the pen into Keith’s leg. Keith let out a small cry and curled onto his side. Keith silently cried and begged for the pain to stop under his breath and Lance sighed as he lifted Keith up. The others were waiting in the Living room and all heads turned towards Lance and Keith when Lance came walking in with a sobbing Keith in his arms.

“Is he okay? What happened?” Hunk asked. Keith buried his face into Lance’s shoulder and continued sobbing silently. Lance rubbed his shoulder and said,

“He’s Okay. He just needs a little space, I think.” They all understood to give the two of them some space for a bit, so they went upstairs for a few minutes. Lance carried Keith over to the couch and sat down with him on his lap and started rocking back and forth, trying his best to soothe Keith, who was then shaking from the sobs escaping his chest.

“Shhh, it’s okay, baby. Its okay. Shh...” Lance felt terrible for putting Keith through this, but it was rather this or the possibility of Keith dying, so Lance had no choice but to force himself to listen to Keith’s cries and attempt to calm him down while he felt his heart break.

“I-it h-hurts... I-it hurts s-so m-much...” Keith cried. Lance placed his chin on Keith’s shoulder and rubbed his back as he continued rocking the two of them.

“I know, I know, Keith. I’m so sorry I didn’t catch that sooner. It’s okay, now, you’re okay. Shhh,” Lance soothed Keith to the best of his ability. Keith’s cries slowly died down from heart-wrenching sobs to feeble whimpers and shaking in Lance’s arms. He laid his head on Lance’s shoulder because the crying made him dizzy with a terrible headache, plus the pain from the EpiPen and the reaction was tiring him out, so he eventually wound up asleep on Lance’s shoulder. Lance smiled at how Keith was calmed now and rubbed his back, still rocking a little, afraid to wake Keith up and have him still be in pain. The others came down and saw Keith asleep against Lance, and they knew Keith would be alright. They all slowly entered the living room and sat down around the couple.

“Lance, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize that I had you guys try the ones with milk in them and that Keith was gonna-“ Hunk rambled, but Lance shushed him.

“Hey, it’s okay, man. Plus it wasn’t the milk. I think it was the chocolate.” Lance whispered loudly. “Keith’s allergic to tree nuts, and I didn’t realize that chocolate had cocoa beans in it until Keith started getting worse.” Lance admitted.

“Ah, I’m so, so sorry! I didn’t mean to-!” Hunk said, his voice raising, but he cut himself off when they all could hear Keith whimper softly. Lance pulled Keith’s head closer to his chest and rubbed his thumb up and down, quickly calming Keith back to sleep.

“Hunk, it’s okay. You didn’t know.” Lance whispered. “I think I might take him back home. He’s exhausted. Thanks for everything today, guys. It was fun.” Lance said. He slowly lifted Keith into his arms as he stood up and carefully carried the sleeping teen to the car. He placed him in the back seat and laid him down gently, praying he wouldn’t wake up. Lance walked around the car and hopped into the drivers side, starting the car and he started the drive back to their house. Not too long after they got on the road again, Lance heard Keith whimpering in the back seat. He looked in the mirror to see Keith holding his leg near where Lance stuck him with the pen, tears falling down his face. Lance sighed sadly and looked back at Keith when they hit a red light.

“H-hurts...” Keith whimpered silently.

“I know, babe. I’m sorry, but you know I had to.” Lance sighed. Keith nodded, and he quickly wound up falling asleep. If anything was learned from this, it was that next time Hunk asks them to try something, they should probably ask what’s in it BEFORE eating it.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6